Hi friend,
I wrote this song a few weeks ago. It’s very different to my usual darker minor songs, but I still love it.
I’m not sure where, but I saw the words ‘sandy hills’ somewhere and then I came up with the first line: “On those sandy hills / I came out of my trance of illusion.”
I knew immediately that this wong was about transformation and some form of internal healing.
I have done a lot of inner work on myself these past many years as I was lying in bed in a darkened room (what else is there to do?) and one major thing has been befriending, accepting and then letting go of anger and bitterness.
It was only when I accepted these feelings, truly honoured them, and fully allowed myself to feel them that they started to dissipate.
As someone living with chronic illness I have experienced my fair share of rejection over the years. It created a lot of bitterness within me and I realised it was just hurt and fear that needed to be honoured.
One of my favourite lines in this song is: “And no longer be afraid / Of people who don’t care.” It alludes to letting go of all the hurt and fear from having been rejected by people I loved and trusted.
I mess up the piano part towards the end, I am starting to get tired and I lose my concentration, but I decided not to do a retake, mainly because it could take weeks before I can do another take, but also to work with perfectionism and being ok with being a human being whose physical capacity is not the same as able-bodied people’s.
Let me know what you think of the song?
Here are the lyrics:
On those sandy hills
I came out of my trance of illusion
A I said to them
They should leave it all behind and not fool them
Into thinking they cared
About anyone but themselves
I left my scared ghosts behind
On those sandy hills
Yesterday’s storms
Had me reeling and believing I was failing
All my uniforms
Have grown tight my soul no longer fits them
I am naked and alone
Standing on the hollow mounds I once built
Now I’ll leave my scared ghosts behind
On those sandy hills
Do you remember how we yelled at trees that got in our way
Do you remember how we scolded bees that stung
Do you remember how our hearts grew stiff and wild with thorns
Do you remember how we blamed the birds for their songs
On those sandy hills
On those sandy hills
I realised I was meant for something more
To pull out the thorns
And find meaning in the foxgloves and the daisies
And not always be afraid
Of people who don’t care
I left my scared ghosts behind
On those sandy hills
On those sandy hills
On those sandy hills
Tell me…
Do you have anger or any other feelings that you are holding on to, but would like to let go of?
Have you experienced rejection and how did you handle it?
What’s your relationship to perfectionism at the moment?
What are your favourite lyrics in the song?
I’d love to know in the comments!
